Updated: Nov 6, 2021
Is there an area of your business or life where you would like to be more consistent?
Do you set goals and then get frustrated that you haven’t been able to stay consistent in the new behavior?
Maybe you’ve been consistent for a while but over time, you gradually slide back into that old behavior and you don’t know why.
When we aren't consistent in our business, it causes us to work harder, we begin living in our business to make up for the inconsistencies, and we stop and start over again.
On the other hand, when we are consistent, we are able to live a more balanced life between our business and our relationships, and we gain momentum, which drives our business.
Changing habits and behaviors at the subconscious level is the best way to incorporate lasting, more consistent habits and move you closer to the level of success that you want both in business and in life.
There are many different ways to develop new habits and behaviors that lead us towards more success, however, if there is a struggle in this area, it is likely that there is a program running at the subconscious level, and until we change or rewrite that program, we will continue to struggle.
I am going to review 3 key areas that can potentially be a stumbling block for developing new habits. When we get to the root of the problem or the reason why we do the behaviors that we do, it makes it quite easy to incorporate new successful habits that are long lasting.
1. What Motivates You?
Whether you are motivated towards a positive outcome or motivated away from something that you don’t want could be the reason you have been inconsistent in your success habits.
I worked with a client who sometimes struggled with staying motivated to reach her goals. She would reach her first goal, then stop, and had trouble staying motivated to go further.
This is called “away from” motivation and is very common.
Away from motivated goals can be very effective, but long term, they don’t keep you motivated or consistent. This is why sometimes we slide back into old behaviors.
A common example of an “away from” goal is a bride who wants to lose weight for her wedding because she doesn’t want to look fat in her wedding dress. Her motivation is to “move away” from being fat on her wedding day.
The problem with this type of motivation is that once you get there, you are not motivated to keep going or maintain the goal so then you lose it. Or, in this specific example she gains it back.
A “toward motivated goal” moves you toward a positive outcome. So perhaps the same bride would like to get to a healthy weight so that she can maintain good energy and a healthy lifestyle with her husband. Do you see the difference?
2. What are you teaching your subconscious mind?
Do you hit the snooze button? Do you put things off with the intention to do it later? How you do some things is how you do everything. We teach ourselves to either be consistent or to procrastinate. With simple, small changes in our behavior and in our language, we can begin to change the way we think about ourselves and our habits.
Our subconscious mind is like a 5 year old living in your head. It takes everything personally, and literally. It needs repetition, but sometimes we are repetitive in things that we don’t want, like procrastination. An example of this is hitting snooze, when we do this consistently over time, we are teaching our subconscious mind to put things off or procrastinate. This is a small thing, but something to be aware of, especially if this has been a struggle for you.
Tips to overcome this problem:
Take an inventory of your behavior for a day. What areas do you find yourself putting things off?
If you find yourself putting things off in something that is consciously a goal or area that you would like to have more success in, ask yourself what is the purpose behind this problem? There may be (and likely is) a deeper reason behind it.
Be aware of guilt and the creation of more guilt with your language. I find that in working with my clients that struggle with consistency or procrastination that there is a subconscious program of guilt that is playing and it tends to be a vicious cycle. They have guilt about not being consistent, which stops them in their tracks. To complicate it even further, not being consistent creates more guilt.
Some simple language changes can help change the guilt cycle. Instead of saying I “need to” or “should” get something done, say I want to instead. Should and need to create more feelings of guilt. “I want to” gives you back control over your behavior.
We always have a choice but when we are unaware of our choices with our language, it further complicates things.
3. Do you have subconscious blocks or beliefs that work against your success habits?
One of the main reasons we struggle with success in different areas of our lives has to do with our programming or what we’ve been taught subconsciously. Our subconscious brain directs 90% of our behavior and if our internal programming is in need of some rewiring, you will continue to struggle with being successful. Your subconscious mind hears everything and determines your behavior. The thoughts, words, and actions of ourselves and the significant people in our lives from our past and present all have an impact on our subconscious mind and the behavior that we do today.
Also, our internal and external language that we are using today, that we may have learned from the past, is directing our behaviors. We are constantly “programming” ourselves either for success or failure. Many times we are unaware of the thoughts going through our heads and we think that this is just the way we are or the way it’s going to be, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. We always have a choice. Success or failure, health or sickness.
As important as our language and self-talk is, it’s not the only factor, getting to the problem, getting to the cause and fixing it at its root is what gets lasting change and results.
Our subconscious mind is responsible for storing our memories, it learns behavior from those memories and those behaviors become our reality. Most of the time we are completely unaware of why we are doing what we are doing, but, when we get to the cause, we are able to uproot the problem so that it doesn’t keep happening.
3 Key Steps to Changing Your Success Habits
There are 3 key steps that have to take place in order to change your success habits or internal “programming”. Through my extensive training, I’ve been able to extract the most important pieces in behavior change and have put it into a very unique and fast process that I use with my clients.
Find out what the real problem is. There is a deeper reason behind behavior that we keep doing and don't know how to stop. One of the many questions I ask my clients is, "How is that a problem?"
Find out what caused it, or when did it first occur. When we can find out what caused the problem, we are able to reframe it and learn from it.
Fix the problem. To truly fix a problem or program that is running subconsciously, it must be reframed or "rewired" so that it no longer occurs.
When we are able to stop the program that has been running for years, this is when we are able to successfully implement new success habits and reach the goals we have both in business and in our relationships.
If you are ready to invest in yourself and have more success in your business or relationships, let's have a conversation to find out if this is right for you. Here is a link to my calendar: 45 Minute Discovery Session.
During this complementary session, we will:
Identify what your specific needs are
Identify what problem or area you want to focus on
Discuss what we can do to fix it so that it doesn't keep happening
To your TOTAL success,
Kim Lebbing is a Success and Mindset Coach with 10 years of experience in the coaching industry, Kim has a proven track record of getting massive results for her clients. She is an NLP Master Coach and Trainer, and has aligned with 3 different schools for her NLP Certifications over the last 8 years.
Kim has created a unique 4 Hour Process that rapidly shifts minds to ignite the fire and motivation that will help you take massive action to reach your highest goals without time consuming seminars, trainings, and programs. She gets to the root of the problem and fixes it, so that you can have rapid results and can move your business forward.